Drunken Tweets
by CanIHaveSumEdwardPlease
Summary: Edward's been humbled into tweeting for companionship since his boyfriend James left him. Could his new Twitter pal actually be a promising relationship? Rated M for sexual situations. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

**HotGuy15: Hey, love… wondered if you wanted to play tonight?**

**ImSoGay: I'm kind of tired tonite, darlin'… maybe tomorrow?**

**HotGuy15: Sure… just tweet me & lemme know xoxo**

**ImSoGay: Will do, sweetie. Talk tomorrow...**

I shut down my computer and wondered if I was just wasting my time. Jasper… well, that's what he_ said_ his name was anyway, and I had tweeted for the past two months almost exclusively. I knew I was being stupid and getting my hopes up. I couldn't help but imagine him as looking like Gerard Butler in _300_. Okay, I'll admit, I'd even take him if he looked like old Gerry in _P.S. I Love You_. Sadly to say, I was desperate at this point. My ex-boyfriend had left me three months ago and I felt as if I were just plain useless… damn it. No, damn _him_. As I brushed my teeth before bed, I reflected back on James's and my last conversation.

_Look, Edward, we've just grown apart. We both want different things, and the only way to fulfill our dreams is to go other directions to achieve our goals. Look, baby, maybe one day we'll meet up and things will magically work out._

Right. Magically. That's the same word he'd used when we'd first met.

_Oh, Edward, our meeting was just magically meant to be, baby..._

I'd since learned not to rely on anyone or anything anyone said. I hated that I'd become jaded at the ripe old age of twenty-five, but that's what my ex had done for me. Thanks a lot, James. So now I was left to tweet for companionship.

Good lord. I was right up there with Britney Spears, who I adored, but nevertheless, I was vying for tweet queen right along with her sad self. I sighed.

"Jasper, you'd better come through for me." I sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

I wandered down a hallway with many doors on both sides, trying to find my way out… which was the right one? Why were some locked when some weren't? My heartbeat pounded in my ears… which door to choose? My breathing got deeper, faster… panic was setting in… where the fuck was I? I needed out of there. I was on the verge of screaming out in anger…

A sound jarred me out of my dream and I sat up trying to catch my breath. Looking around, needing to orient myself, I rubbed a hand over my forehead, feeling the slick sweat that'd formed in my panicked state.

"Fuck!" I hissed. It was the third night in a week I'd had an anxiety dream. "Jesus. Get a grip," I murmured as I turned on my lamp then went to the bathroom to splash some water on my face.

After drying off, I stood staring at myself in the mirror wondering how I'd gotten to this point. I rarely smiled these days. And I was almost always alone. Shaking my head at my reflection I whispered, "Pathetic," knowing that I, myself, had allowed another human being to reduce me to this state. I rubbed a hand over my face when my phone's alert tone went off.

Walking back into the bedroom, I frowned, trying to remember where I'd left the damn phone. I usually put it on my nightstand, but it wasn't there. Looking around, I saw that it had fallen to the floor, and as I picked it up another buzzing chime came out of it. I turned it over to see that I'd missed eleven messages. Pushing a button allowed me to see the messages were all from Jasper.

The first had been sent almost an hour earlier:

**ImSoGay: You up, darlin'?**

Twelve minutes after that came:

**ImSoGay: If you're awake, I'm ready to play now.**

Another ten minutes and he'd sent:

**ImSoGay: Guess this tequila's going to be wasted.**

Fourteen minutes later:

**ImSoGay: Come drunk tweet with me, baby...**

Nine more minutes:

**ImSoGay: You gonna cum play with me?**

The last four had been sent in a barrage that had been just minutes, even seconds apart, which I was sure the vibrations had knocked my phone to the floor:

**ImSoGay: E... I need to talk to you...**

Three minutes later:

**ImSoGay: I habe to takl to you…**

**ImSoGay: You awke?**

**ImSoGay: E?**

**ImSoGay: E… plerasre anser me**

Yeah. He'd been drinking. That was actually how we'd "met" online. I'd been home alone, still licking my wounds from my breakup with James a month earlier and through a drunken haze of scotch had searched for people, finding Jasper's account almost immediately; his profile had caught my eye instantly.

_Single male, gay as hell, tweet me for sexy times. (Actually, I'm a professional whose best friend made me write all that to attract "hotties," as she says)_

I'd had to laugh at that and was pleasantly surprised when, after following him, found that he was online. We'd hit it off from the start and I now felt myself relying more and more on our talks, looking forward to chatting with him, which scared the hell out of me. It wasn't that I was opposed to another relationship. But tweeting to faceless, nameless men online wasn't exactly a sure thing and I sometimes felt that I was wasting time and just hiding behind a Twitter account. As if anything would ever come of our talks.

But when I read his last tweet, I swear to God my heart stopped. Blinking to clear my vision, I read it again, and was just as shocked the second time around:

**ImSoGay: I wamt to meeet you. Please, E. I thnk Im falling in love...**


	3. Chapter 3

"Goddamn it," I mumbled, looking down at my phone. Jasper thought he might be in love with me… and he was drunk. That was just my luck. He finally acknowledges his feelings for me and he's boozed to the hilt. Sure.

How could I trust that? Inhibitions fly out the window when Jack, Jim or Johnnie get hold of you. Oh, and don't forget that drinking leads to sudden onset horniness, too. Bottom line was—I wasn't going to put a whole lot into his admission.

**HotGuy15: Hey, J. Baby, you're drunk… you don't know what you're saying…**

**ImSoGay: You're up!1! Wrll, Ive nevr been more sure of anyting in mylife, E**

I sighed hating to do what I was about to do.

**HotGuy15: Let's talk tomorrow, okay? **

**ImSoGay: I wanna talk now**

**HotGuy15: Look, J… we've never met before. We haven't even talked on the phone. Hell, we don't even know what each other looks like! **

**ImSoGay: I kknow youre beautful… I don't ned proof**

Although I loved that he was being so sweet, I wasn't stupid and knew things could change tomorrow.

**HotGuy15: J, I know that you are too. That's all that matters. Let's talk tomorrow, okay?**

**ImSoGay: if i send you my fone num wuld you call me**

I'd been wanting to talk to him since I met him, but would he even remember that we talked? The next thing I knew, he'd direct messaged me and sent his number. Shit. Now the ball was in my court. Studying his number, I punched it into my phone then holding my breath, hit "Call."


End file.
